The Infamous Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Idealization, Devaluation and Rejection
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that is characterized by a pattern of controlling, manipulative, and abusive behaviors. These behaviors are often used to gain power and control over the victim.
Narcissistic abuse can be physical, mental, or emotional. It can also be financial, spiritual, or sexual. It’s often used to establish and maintain control in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may be in a never-ending abuse cycle.
Idealization: When the Relationship Starts
When narcissist first meets their victim, they’re likely to go through a phase of idealization. In this phase, the narcissist will put the victim on a pedestal, praising and admiring them.
They may say everything the victim wants to hear, making the victim feel special. They may lavish gifts on their victim, showering them with attention. This phase will often end once the narcissist has secured the victim’s commitment.
When narcissists have finished idealizing their victims, they’ll start devalue them. This is the second stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle and is often the last warning sign before the narcissist starts abusing their victim.
Devaluation and Narcissistic Abuse: When the Narcissists Begin to Deprecate Their Partner
The narcissist will begin to criticize their partner, often without reason. They may complain about their partner’s appearance, personality, or anything else they can think of. This is a way for a narcissist to establish their dominance in the relationship. They’re letting their partner know they can be criticized and aren’t perfect.
They may also be projecting their own insecurities onto their partner. This phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle can last for months, sometimes even years. During this phase, the narcissist is likely to be cruel and demeaning towards their partner.
They may insult their partner and call them names, telling them they’re worthless. They may also embarrass their partner in public or try to humiliate them in other ways. The narcissist will do whatever they can to make their partner feel worthless.
Rejection and Narcissistic Abuse: When They Push Their Partner Away
The narcissist will eventually push their partner out of the relationship, often without explanation. They may say they’re not interested in a romantic relationship and break up with their partner. They may say they are not interested in a long-term relationship or are not ready for a serious commitment. The narcissist will often do this even if their partner is ready for a long-term relationship.
They may also do this if their partner has tried to break up with them. This is often the last straw if the narcissist has been abusing their partner. It’s likely that their partner will end the relationship shortly after this.
In some cases, however, the narcissist may attempt to draw their partner back into the relationship. They may try to apologize and convince their partner that they’ve changed. If the narcissist has been verbally abusing their partner, this sudden change in behavior could be genuine. However, if they’ve been physically abusive, they’re most likely trying to manipulate their partner.
How to Break the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll likely go through the narcissistic abuse cycle multiple times. You may even go through it several times in one relationship.
Although the cycle may seem never-ending, there are things you can do to break the cycle and regain control of your life. It’s important to remember that you’re not to blame for the narcissist’s behavior. They may try to make you feel like you aren’t good enough like you’re the one at fault, but that’s not true.
There are steps you can take to break the cycle and make sure it doesn’t happen again. The first thing you should do is educate yourself on the signs of narcissistic abuse. Once you know what to look out for, you can identify the narcissist’s abuse cycle. You can also recognize when the narcissist’s abuse is escalating and take steps to get yourself out of the relationship.
It’s important to make sure you’re safe during and after the relationship. You can do this by getting help from a therapist, joining a support group, or speaking with a close friend.
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