How to spot a narcissist?
Narcissism has become almost a cultural phenomenon.
Many think they know what it is and have met several narcissists in their life. However, the word narcissist has been used loosely, leading to its trivialization. In fact, there are many articles on how to spot a narcissist.
Let’s get this straight: not everyone who likes to selfies or thinks highly of themselves is a narcissist. It’s actually quite a complicated condition that involves a distorted self-image and a lack of empathy for others.
That said, spotting a narcissist isn’t always easy because they can be very charming and well-spoken; you may not even realize you’re being manipulated until much later. Here are some signs to help you identify if someone you know might be a narcissist:
Best Place for Narcissists to Hang out
Narcissists can be found in every industry and in every area of life. They are not necessarily more prevalent in certain professions than others, but their behaviors tend to stand out more in certain environments.
If you work with a narcissist on a regular basis, it could lead to negative outcomes for both of you. Not only will the narcissist likely belittle you, undermine your ideas and make you feel insignificant, but they can also have a detrimental impact on your career trajectory.
Luckily, there are ways to spot a narcissist before interacting with them too much. Keep reading to learn more about how to identify these toxic people so you can avoid them as much as possible and limit the damage they can do to your life and career.
Common childhood upbringing
One of the most common childhood upbringings for narcissists is growing up with an emotionally absent parent. Their parents may have been so focused on their own lives and issues that the narcissist never received the attention or love they needed to develop a healthy sense of self. One study found that narcissists are more likely to have narcissistic parents who were less attentive and loving, and more likely to have parents who were abusive and critical. This can lead to feelings of low self-worth and a desperate need to feel important and special.
How they talk & act?
Narcissists are generally very charming, but this charm is not a sign of a healthy or sincere person. It is more likely to be a manipulation technique to get people to like them and give them what they want. This includes offering praise at inappropriate times, such as when you’re facing a challenge or being nitpicked about every tiny mistake. Typically, narcissists will never be willing to admit they are wrong. If they were, they would not be narcissists. They will often try to make situations about themselves, such as bringing up past experiences or talking about something they plan to accomplish in the future. They will also take advantage of any situation in which they can be the center of attention, whether or not it is necessary.
How they react when angry?
Generally, narcissists will become cold and critical. They may use words to tear you down or avoid spending time with you altogether. If you challenge them, they will likely become even angrier and more critical or dismissive. They may even try to find ways to punish or humiliate you for speaking your mind. Narcissists are not open to changing their minds. They believe they are always right and anyone who disagrees with them is wrong. If you can’t live with a narcissist, it is best to avoid fighting with them at all. The best way to deal with a narcissist who is angry with you is to calmly agree with them, apologize for whatever you did wrong and then try to change the subject.
How they speak of themselves?
Narcissists tend to talk about themselves in grandiose terms, such as having a “great vision” or being the “best at their job.” They will likely portray themselves as the smartest person in the room and assume that everyone else is there to serve them. Although narcissists are often intelligent, they are rarely the smartest person in the room. More likely, they have just convinced everyone else that they are. Narcissists tend to brag a lot and exaggerate their accomplishments. They will often bring up their status or achievements in casual conversation, such as when you are discussing the sports team you both graduated from. They will even brag about things that don’t make them sound impressive, such as the fact that they have an above-average IQ or own an above-average house.
Handle the Narcissist Smartly
The best way to avoid narcissists is to avoid interacting with them. If you must deal with a narcissist, keep your interactions short and sweet and avoid criticizing them since that is likely to lead to an argument. Find ways to stay positive and ignore their attempts to drag you down. You might have to find another way to do your job if working with a narcissist is affecting your productivity. Find ways to distract yourself from their negativity and focus on your own accomplishments and positive contributions to your team.
What’s my take on Narcissism?
Narcissism is a spectrum, not a black-and-white diagnosis. Narcissists come in varying degrees of intensity, and this impact others. Someone who is mildly narcissistic may struggle with confidence and require constant validation from others to feel good about themselves.
However, someone who is strongly narcissistic almost always needs constant validation of their own appearance and abilities. People like this can be extremely manipulative and harmful to those around them.
Hope these tips help you how to spot a narcissist so you can avoid falling prey to their manipulation strategies.
Do you or does anyone you know show these signs of narcissism? Tell me which sign or signs you find most helpful in the comments.
Thanks for reading.
I write on the pressing matters that not everyone addresses via my blogs on Medium. If you want to learn more about relationships with yourself and others, narcissism, and more on psychology, then follow to motivate for more content. I promise to bring high signal and curiosity-induced content every week.
