How is Your Relationship with YOU?
A question for you- “How is your relationship with you?”
We are always told- “Treat others the same way you want to be treated.”
But, what about treating ourselves? Are we good to ourselves?
Once, I was with a friend in an eatery and had to excuse myself from the table to the washroom.
As I entered and locked in one of the stalls, I could hear- “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. How can I be so dumb? This is all my fault! I deserve this! How can I expect them to be good for me. Of course, I am not worthy of it.”.
I was shocked!
She was not aware of me being in one of the stalls, and I preferred not to let her know!
Of course, I couldn’t have stayed there for long. So, as I finished my business and was letting myself out, she uttered to me, “Sorry! I am not just me today.”
To which I replied, “It’s okay!” and I just left without making it more awkward.
While I was returning to my table, thoughts concerning her words had occupied my mind, and that was all I could wonder about while eating.
But, wasn’t she all alone? Wasn’t she all there at that moment? Was it just a breakdown phase? Or, that’s who we are to ourselves?
I was thinking to myself- She apologized to me so politely! Me? I am a fucking stranger to her! How can she be so good to me and so rude to herself?
All this self-talk affects our behavior- not only with others (which can hardly be noticed anymore as that is now a part of you) but mostly with ourselves.
Why, you ask?
You must know that “YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR BRAIN”. The truth is- “You’ve forgotten so.” The words you use for yourself are constantly fed to the brain, and your mind just does what you ask it to do. Your every thought, every word is a command for your brain.
Simple as that.
Why do you think the motivational speakers or the therapist recommend you to show gratitude for all you are and have?
It is to train your brain about the relationship with yourself! Yes, you might be the best to others- the most polite, the most loving, the most caring, and all that. But, all these become useless for you if you are not polite, loving, and caring to YOU.
People are talking about self-care nowadays a lot! Are you really caring about yourself? Let me tell you that pampering yourself for a good warm bath, a soothing spa session with your favorite music is not self-care. That’s self-treating.
Self-care is when you do it from within. When you clear the core of your mind, be grateful for all you have and are on the verge of achieving. Use positivity influencing words for yourself.
Next time, when you are in a meeting and you seem to fail at a presentation- Instead of saying yourself:- “You are stupid, how can you let it slip from your end? Why are you so weak at persuading people?”
Try saying- “Hey, I did my best, and could convince at least half of the crowd. But I learn the areas that need improvement.”
Or, next time, when you are heartbroken- Instead of saying- “I deserve this” or “I am not good enough”; try saying- “I did all I could and even more, the one breaking my heart is at loss. He/she is the one responsible for what happened, not I”.
Yes, training your brain with these affirmative thoughts is easier said than done!
As the relationship with you improves, the same will be for other relationships in your life. Remember, it is you who can change everything!
Are you willing to take that small step for YOU?
