Effects of Narcissistic Mother on her Daughters

Shulagna Sharma
4 min readOct 24, 2022

Image Source: FreeImages‍

Narcissistic mothers are self-centered, demanding, and manipulative. They have a high sense of entitlement and exploit others to meet their own needs. Narcissistic mothers can be toxic and destructive to their daughters, affecting them for a lifetime. If you grew up with a narcissistic mother, you may have suffered from low self-esteem and felt like you could never measure up to her perfect standards or be the person she wanted you to be. The relationship with your mother may have been filled with resentment and fear of rejection. You might have felt that she didn’t see you as an individual but rather as an extension of herself. If so, your mother was probably narcissistic. Read on to learn more…

What is a Narcissistic Mother?

A narcissistic mother is a parent who has an inflated sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Like people who have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), narcissistic mothers have a distorted view of themselves and an inability to see other people’s feelings. A narcissistic mother may come across as haughty and controlling, and she may demand attention and admiration from her children. Like people with NPD, narcissistic mothers tend to be very critical, which may make it hard for their children to develop a healthy sense of self. A narcissistic mother often has a one-sided relationship with her children in which she expects to be loved and admired but is not able to give unconditional love in return. She is not able to see her children as separate individuals and might have a hard time accepting criticism or correction.

The Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

The daughters of narcissistic mothers often grow up to have low self-esteem, feel inadequate and develop a strong need to be perfect. Many daughters of narcissistic mothers have a hard time feeling good enough, often comparing themselves to others and always finding themselves lacking. Some daughters of narcissistic mothers have eating disorders, self-harm (cutting, burning) or may become codependent or abusive in their adult relationships. Daughters raised by narcissistic mothers can also become narcissists themselves, either by mimicking the behaviors of their mothers or by trying to prove that they are more worthy than others. If you were raised by a narcissistic mother, you may have developed a strong need to please others and a fear of being criticized. You might feel like you have to prove yourself to other people or feel like you are always coming up short. You may have a hard time allowing yourself to make mistakes and express your feelings.

How Can A Narcissistic Mother Affect Her Daughter?

A narcissist mother can have a profound and long-term effect on her daughter’s self-esteem and self-worth. Growing up with a narcissist mother can have a lasting impact on a girl’s ability to form healthy relationships with others and with herself. The daughter may feel like she can never live up to her mother’s expectations and that she is always disappointing her. Like people with NPD, narcissistic mothers tend to be very critical, which may make it hard for their children to develop a healthy sense of self. The daughter of a narcissist mother may grow up to have low self-esteem, feel like she can never measure up to her mother’s standards and be unable to accept criticism.

6 Signs You Were Raised By A Narcissistic Mother

If you were raised by a narcissistic mother, you may show some of these signs: You feel like you can never measure up. You try to please others in an attempt to feel worthy. You have trouble receiving and accepting criticism. You have a low self-esteem. You feel like you are constantly disappointing others. Your relationships are dysfunctional. Here are 6signs that you were raised by a narcissist:

  1. You were ignored as a child.
  2. You were always told that you were special.
  3. You were given money to make up for your feelings of inadequacy.
  4. You were made to feel guilty.
  5. You felt that you could never do anything right.
  6. You were not allowed to have any friends.

3 Ways To Recover From A Narcissistic Mother

If you had a narcissistic mother, here are 3 ways to recover:

  1. Learn to accept and love yourself.
  2. Set boundaries.
  3. Spend time with people who appreciate you.

The most important thing you can do if you were raised by a narcissist is to love yourself. It may seem like an impossible feat, but it is essential to your health and well-being. It may take a long time to learn how to truly love yourself, but it is an important journey to undertake. At the same time, you also need to learn how to set boundaries. A narcissist mother is unlikely to respect your needs or feelings, so you need to be able to stand up for yourself. Finally, surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are and don’t try to change you.

Conclusion

A narcissistic mother can negatively affect her daughter’s self-esteem and ability to form healthy relationships with others. It is important to recognize the signs of a narcissistic mother and take steps to recover from the negative effects of the relationship. You can learn to love yourself, set boundaries and spend time with people who appreciate you. Growing up with a narcissist mother can be a negative experience, but it is not one that you have to let define your life.

Thanks for reading.

I write on the pressing matters that not everyone addresses on Medium. If you want to learn more about relationships with yourself and others, narcissism, and more on psychology, then follow to motivate for more content. I promise to bring curiosity-induced content every week.

Follow me on Medium and LinkedIn for more content daily.

--

--