5 Narcissistic Red Flags to Know About
Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Some of us are more self-centered than others. It’s natural to have a heightened sense of your own awesomeness every once in a while, but if it becomes an ingrained part of your identity, then you may be dealing with someone who is narcissistic.
Red flags go up when you start dating someone, and their behavior rubs you the wrong way. They don’t listen when you talk, they only care about what they have to say. They might not show any empathy for your problems or interests, and so on. You get the picture: these people are being downright selfish!
But how do you know if that special someone is just selfish or if they also happen to be narcissistic? Here are some red flags that may help you figure out whether you are dealing with a narcissist or not.
They constantly talk about themselves.
If you’ve been dating someone for a few months and you notice that the majority of their conversations are about themselves and their lives, then you might be dealing with a narcissist. Self-obsessed people rarely ask others about their lives; if they do, it’s because they want to use it to feed the narcissists ego. If your date never asks you about your life and what’s going on with you, then it’s safe to say that they are only interested in learning about themselves. If you ask them a question about themselves, they will almost always respond with how they think, feel, and what they do. You’re not getting much more than a monologue when you ask about their lives.
They only care about what benefits them.
Narcissists rarely notice what others are interested in, and they never care about anything that doesn’t benefit them in some way. If you start talking about your passions and interests, the narcissist only hears what will advance them in some way. You should be concerned if your date shows no real interest in what you have to say, even if it is about them. They aren’t going to engage with you on any kind of real level. They will only ask questions when they want to use your answers to further their own goals. If you are dating a narcissist, you will often feel like you are just an accessory to them. A narcissist uses people as tools to reach their goals. If you’re one of those tools, you’re going to feel unimportant and worthless.
They blame others for their own shortcomings.
If you start dating someone who blames everyone else for their own problems, you might be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their own actions. They are always pointing the finger at someone else. If you are dating someone who is always blaming their family and friends for their shortcomings, then you are probably dating a narcissist. No one is perfect, and we all have our faults, but narcissists are unable to recognize that. They are unable to acknowledge that they ever make a mistake, and when you point out one of their faults, they will quickly dismiss it and tell you that it’s not a big deal because everybody makes mistakes. If you are dating a narcissist, they will often try to blame you for things that are their own fault. You will notice that they frequently act like everything is your fault, even if you had no part in it.
They want to control you.
If you are dating someone who wants to control you, you are dating a narcissist. Narcissists thrive on control because it allows them to escape taking responsibility for their own actions, and it also allows them to feel superior to others. If you are dating someone who wants to control all of your decisions, you need to be very careful. That is a sign that they want to control you and that is a huge red flag. Narcissists want to control everything because it makes them feel good. When they control everything, they don’t have to worry about failure or making mistakes. Controlling others gives them a false sense of control over their lives and it also allows them to feel superior to others. They want to know everything about you, and they want to be the one to decide what you do and when you do it. If your date is pressing the issue and constantly asking you where you are going and what you’re doing, then you might be dealing with a narcissist.
They exhibit extreme jealousy.
Extreme jealousy can also be a sign that you are dating a narcissist. A narcissist is unable to control their own emotions and they often lash out at the people that they care about the most. If your date is constantly accusing you of cheating on them and they are jealous of the time you spend with your friends or family, they may be a narcissist. Narcissists will often accuse their significant others of cheating, even when there is no evidence whatsoever. If you have noticed that you have a few of these red flags in your relationship with someone, don’t panic! You can learn how to deal with narcissists, and you can get out of the relationship if you need to. If you have noticed that you have several of these red flags, then you should be extra careful when dating them. Narcissists are emotionally abusive, and they can cause a lot of damage to their loved ones if they aren’t careful.
Thanks for reading.
I write on the pressing matters that not everyone addresses on Medium. If you want to learn more about relationships with yourself and others, narcissism, and more on psychology, then follow to motivate for more content. I promise to bring curiosity-induced content every week.
